JPMorgan Asset Management put Bitcoin in its Long-Term Capital Market Assumptions for the first time on October 20. The base case has it returning 10% a year over the next decade, ahead of US large caps at 7.5%, bonds at 5.6% to 6.6%, and gold at 5.5%.

The bank still hedges. It calls Bitcoin “a speculative asset and a hedge against monetary easing,” models a bear case of minus 9.7% a year, and warns that volatility keeps it out of most diversified portfolios.

Jamie Dimon called Bitcoin a fraud in 2017. Nine years later, his own asset managers rank it first on expected return, while still telling clients to be careful owning it.

The same week, Chamath Palihapitiya went the other way. “I just think it’s capped and then I think eventually it gets hacked and then it goes to zero,” he said in an interview that spread fast on X.

His case is that AI, and eventually quantum computers, break Bitcoin’s cryptography before developers can agree on an upgrade. No such attack has ever been shown against Bitcoin, and Bitcoin developers are already debating quantum-resistant signatures.

Chamath once wrote a Bloomberg op-ed telling everyone to put 1% of their net worth into Bitcoin. The price was $80. Now he says he traded his long-term position for equity in Digital Currency Group.

McDonald’s is bringing the McRib back as early as October 27 in select US restaurants, senior marketing director Guillaume Huin posted on October 22. Michigan gets it a day early.

Bitcoin Twitter’s McRib indicator says price rips every time the sandwich returns. Its best example came in December 2024, when the McRib came back the same week Bitcoin first crossed $100,000.

The track record is messier than the memes. The McRib also returned last November, weeks after the October 2025 top, and Bitcoin spent the next seven months sliding below $60,000. Eat it anyway.

The Nasdaq 100 fell 2.9% on October 22, its worst day since June 5, erasing about $1.2 trillion. Meta led the damage, down nearly 7% after guiding capex to $135 billion to $145 billion.

Bitcoin traded like a tech stock, slipping to about $81,000, and spot ETFs bled $635.6 million in a single day, ending a three-day inflow streak. Money ran to bonds instead: the 10-year Treasury yield fell from 5.13% to 4.96%, its biggest one-day drop since March 2023.

That puts Bitcoin back on the $81,500 ETF cost basis that held twice last week. With the Fed meeting October 27 to 28 and Brent crude at $113, it gets a third test next week.

Chinese prosecutors have asked a Tianjin court to confiscate more than 61,800 bitcoin tied to Zhimin Qian. Her scheme took over 40 billion yuan from more than 100,000 investors between 2014 and 2017. The court accepted the case and opened a six-month window for victims.

The coins aren’t in China. British police seized them, Qian is in a UK prison, and London’s High Court ruled this month that Chinese law governs the victims’ claims.

At this week’s prices that’s about $5 billion, roughly 0.3% of all the bitcoin that will ever exist. Two governments want the same cold wallet, and neither one mined a sat of it.

Can AI hack Bitcoin? Bitcoin security, AI hacking, quantum computing, Bitcoin cryptography, and Bitcoin self-custody face new threats as Chamath Palihapitiya warns Bitcoin could go to zero. Artificial intelligence is hacking banks, government websites, and financial systems, but is Bitcoin next? We investigate AI attacks on Bitcoin's code, cryptocurrency security vulnerabilities, quantum computing risks, Bitcoin wallet security, and whether AI could break Bitcoin's blockchain. Plus, why Michael Saylor, JPMorgan, and Wall Street remain bullish on Bitcoin's future despite growing fears about artificial intelligence and cybersecurity.